just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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