dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
