I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
