i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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