Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
