I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
