Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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