also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
