is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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