Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
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