Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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