too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
