im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
third nipple confirmed
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
