She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
