when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
