O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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