i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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