If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize