You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
