im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
