i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
