we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
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