Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize