Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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