So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
