I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
i believe in u and ur pee
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
