Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
