and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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