The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
