Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
