around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
