After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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