So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I love you.
Bad choice
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
