You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
