This dress was meant to end up on your floor
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
