She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
