I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
