i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
