I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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