I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
smell my finger.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize