I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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