I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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