five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Shame is for Republicans.
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