Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
