May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
