I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
