I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
