the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
