I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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