Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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