Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
you made out with another girl for some wings
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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