Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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