i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My penis needs a shock collar
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
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