nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize