Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
In other news, I just burned my penis
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
