i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
