Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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