I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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