break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
