I just saw a hot homeless man
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
