Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
