I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
