yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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